The Biggest Lesson

This has been an pretty interesting year. For me, it has surely been one full of mixed blessings and emotions.

To start out, it really started at the end of last year. Getting to see Shelly finish her course work, ultimately graduating with a B.A. in the spring of this year is one of the highlights not just of the year, but really our life together. We made a conscious decision that one of us would graduate from college before we were married. I was closer to finishing, so that was me. It was also understood that the other would finish school. It took a little longer than planned, there might have been a little surprise that put it behind schedule, but to see that goal achieved made me very proud. To see how hard she worked for it, the way the pride and ownership of her work increased through the process, and the self-confidence she gained, all taught her that the faith we all had in her was not without reason. It was a great moment that will last our lifetime.

On the other side of the coin, I finally took ownership of my health. I have been through a couple of surgeries, 170 pounds of weight loss since mid-January, lifting weights 3 to 4 times a week, and running somewhere on the order of 20 miles a week. This may not seem like a ton to a seasoned runner, but a year ago I got winded walking up stairs. I'm eating right, living right, and feeling strong. I'm in absolutely the best physical shape of my life.

Now with that comes the hard part. Two surgeries and all of the recovery involved in both, the mental stress of massive lifestyle changes, and stresses of layoffs and a reorganization at work. December - February I saw my retirement savings literally lose all of it's gains from the past five years and return to a level slightly below its principle. From mid-January to mid-March I was unable to eat any solid food, which was mentally and physically challenging. At the same time I was facing my next operation in June I was placed on administrative leave due to a false allegation at work. From June to November I remained on probation after being found guilty of what I was falsely accused of, only to be taken off probation without apology or acknowledgement of a mistake when the evidence the allegation was a lie was finally reviewed and could no longer be ignored. In the midst of so many good things I felt like my world was crumbling around me. I was physically challenged and my faith in people's ability to see and do the right thing was destroyed.

To see the boys grow has been so much fun. Gray growing and learning, Tracy potty-trained and starting pre-school, and both having lots of fun together. Gray's getting so smart, starting to recognize words on paper and writing his letters better everyday. It's so exciting to see just how much two little minds expand, how they so readily absorb information and grow intellectually.

Through all of it, the trials and triumphs, I hope I learned something. I shouldn't say I hope, I know I learned. More accurately I say I hope I remember and make the best application of all I learned. The greatest tragedy of life is not to recognize strengths and weaknesses, not learn from them, and not to become the best person you can with your own unique traits. So with that, tough and easy, smiles and tears, I take it all in and become a better person. A person keenly aware of other's needs, knowing that meeting needs doesn't mean making people happy; to meet needs I must meet my own need for happiness first. I guess that's the biggest lesson I learned this year.